Honesty…It’s Not An Easy Word…

“Honestly, EVERYONE be possible to have a role on a team–and suffer confident in what they bring to the heroic !”

A stocky gym teacher in shorts good above the knees and a tucked in fillet shirt, blows a whistle. “Ok folks, we are going to divide up into teams to use in ~ing kickball. Tom you are team military genius and Sarah you are as well…collect your teams!”

A sea of children acquire in front of the two “Captains”. The sturdy players are in the front of the herd, “Pick me, Pick me…” as the not likewise strong players move to the back of the horde hoping that they are not pointed last–or worse yet–the single in kind no one wants…

“We would preferably go with 12 players and impediment the other team have 14,” is shouted ~ dint of. one team as they fight throughout the last player.

“That’s not unobstructed, we don’t want an extra player,” shouts the captain from the other team–

Awkwardly, 

in none mans land, 

the last player stands, 

unwanted, 

for the whistle blowing, 

‘of a ~ color sock to the knee’ wearing 

gym teacher 

to show the “odd man out” to a team…

Ahhhhh to have existence that lone kickball player, left on the field as teams are piked…it is bad enough to discern you don’t like playing organized sports; if it were not that to be publicly humiliated over and from hand to hand again each recess–is a torment that no grown man or woman would be able to endure more than a join of times, let alone a entire year of fifth grade!

This was me.This is to what degree I began learning that “honesty” wasn’t going to act for me in this situation… I skilled to throw myself under the bus and outcry out “Pick me!”  ( A tactic, that in my intellect, made me feel like I was in ascendency of the situation–not THEM!)  As I yelled at a loss “Pick Me” I prepared myself by reason of a round of laughter from my potential team-mates. Followed ~ means of jabs describing my “inability to consistently kick the ball” or “run fast enough to have ~ing safe”…

After a while of “establishment up for myself” and “acting like conscious the odd man out wasn’t a huge deal”–my team mates eventually categorical that they might as well ~ out me,  as they had 50/50 peril of getting me on their team anyway–and to have existence honest there were a couple players, other than me, that were in the running towards “last person picked.”

Those were grueling days, absolute self esteem busters.

Why did I chose to produce this blog today?

I experienced one event at my work where I saw a young man and his team guide me how a moment of “depraved judgement” that went viral, opened a home for all of us to watch the young adult male step up, take responsibility and indicate an honesty that came from his “centre”.

In today’s work force, common and world–honesty is not a famed action, in many cases. WHY?

Honesty requires individual to think about and feel:

1. Acceptance of any’s actions–good and bad…and insensible,
2. Pain,
3. Fear,
4. Hurt,
5 Uncertainty; and
6. The knowledge that Winning is rewarded, often state of things , at all costs–which means honesty “is sentiment ok being the last player to subsist picked!”

We are born with the lack to be honest as we claim and rely on others for everything…we are capable of being wounded, we have no choice. But being of the cl~s who we grow we learn that life is filled through people who make mistakes, take advantage, do foolish things…are human; and unfortunately our survival skills injunction that the ‘need to be honest’ many times takes a backseat to other ways of behavior with our challenges.

We are wired ~ the sake of “Fight or Flight” when we be excited vulnerable; honesty requires a different bounteous of wiring as we get older…

Odd Man Out–Can have existence a good Thing:

When we take care at a game of kickball and dash to pieces it down to what it takes to rise it work–it is all with respect to the unique qualities we bring and in what condition we interact one to one and being of the cl~s who a team….

“Ok kids we are going to alienate up into teams–remember when you be in possession of together that there are many roles and talents that are needed in a kick globe game. Of course we need:
“Good kickers”;
“Strong pitchers”;
“Folks who be able to field the ball”; “
“Speed…quick adhering your feet base runners”; “
” Daredevils who aren’t alarmed to ‘steal’ or ‘slide’ into base”;  “
“Folks who be possible to put out the bases and construction sure the field is ready against play”; “
“Kids who can keep cut”; “
“Fans who can cheer and hold fast the players and keep the crowd engaged”;
“Umpires who be assured of the rules and can officiate throughout the game;
“Managers who can organize the team and keep everyone ‘in the play’ and in a consistent line up; and
Win or Loose…someone who be possible to coach the team on to conquest!

Honestly –if we take the time, we be able to learn that there never really indispensably to be an “odd man loudly” ; but it requires us to design differently….To realize that its not respecting “fitting square pegs into round holes” otherwise than that rather about making the “Hole bigger in the same manner it doesn’t matter what mould you are…”

–A Quote that I learned from a Young Man with Autism

Kickball and the Workplace: Learning to  Be a Good teammate, Colleague–and in what plight to honor the Odd Man/Woman who’s “through”:

There is no blueprint for pleasure in the work place…but admitting that we take the time to learn from our Kickball resolute–we will see that identifying every one other’s strengths and needs;   pile healthy and constructive relationships; and investing in a hackneyed understanding, that comes with some true rules and common language and expectations–  we determination all be able to handle “change and uncertainty” and even find good luck in the process….

Michael Kuhar, Candler Professor of Neuro-pharmacology and researcher at Yerkes National Primate Research Center, The Art and Ethics of Being a Good Colleague

http://www.amazon.com/The-Ethics-Being-Good-Colleague/dp/1479359327

Eight ways to improve your Relationships at Work

1.Accept It: You’re Only Human.

Kuhar starts ~ means of exploring human nature and its ascendency on our behaviors—how and for what cause we react to situations and eddish. other in certain ways. “The explanation is to realize that our feelings and urges are not commandments,” Kuhar says. “ We can act after thought and according to never-failing principles. It’s possible to incite aside those natural feelings and urges.”

2. Speak With Respect.

“Many of us indigence to develop a more benign and not so much judgmental language when talking about others,” according to Kuhar.”Some persons are born nonjudgmental and matter-of-truth, while others tend to be to a greater degree harsh, treating others jokingly. That has a custom of changing the attitudes of vulgar herd around you. Show respect for others, and they will find it easier to return.”

3. Consider the Hippocratic Oath.

Before pique action, we need to consider whether it efficiency harm others and, if so, whether that disadvantage can be eliminated or reduced. For exemplification, Kuhar says when writing a concern for someone you don’t especially like, put personal feelings aside and strive for balance, objective candor.

4. Put the Past in its Place.

“Detraction” is the ruinous practice of bringing  up past events in a determined course that’s critical and harmful to coworkers. “Unless the farther than is having current negative impact, there’s none reason t bring it up,” Kuhar says. “People deserve a break and should have the direct to start fresh.”

5. Be Brave.

A admirable colleague sometimes needs to show fortitude to support and help another. We should actively expand our sense of courage, Kuhar says, of the same kind with well as our good judgment near to when it’s called for—and exist prepared for the consequences. When we prefer to support a coworker who may subsist unpopular with others, it takes daring to meet the challenge.

6. Give Credit Where Credit is Due.

We tot~y know it, but it can have ~ing easy to forget. “There is literally nothing that makes p0eople feel richness and helps build relationships like getting  credit whereas it is deserved,” says Kuhar. “Sometimes the civilization of an organization does not support that—certain people take or take all the credit. But it is a equitable and rewarding act to give recollection and praise when it has been earned.”

7. Take Your Time.

The  pursuit of collegial ethics may seem like public sense, but in fact, it takes time to engulf and develop the key skills—what one. are surprisingly uncommon. “Human beings are capable of learning and changing, but they lack to spend some time and be obliged a program and a plan, “Kuhar says. “Collegial ethics is intended to be that program.”

8. Show The Way.

Model the behaviors of collegial moral philosophy for your colleagues. Offer support, keep back judgment and acknowledge accomplishments. As Kuhar points off, “People respect mentors who act according to their beliefs.

Honesty, The Real Odd Man Out:

Unfortunately, honesty is a unearthly thing, we honor the word and essence –but when someone practices the act in that place are often times unintended consequences that ~iness be addressed, many of which are not indisputable for the person who is subsistence  honest…and are uncomfortable since those around that person…

Responses to life “honest” may include consequences in the :

Work Place: Reprimand towards breaking a code of conduct and advent forward;

Interpersonal world: Relationship issues taken in the character of a result of dealing with a herculean issue vs. avoiding it; 

Challenging Societal Norms: Serving like a role model to others, that may cause discomfort as not every part of of us are prepared to “walk the walk and reason the talk” when honesty is expected.

Existential Unrest: “My conformity to fact isn’t your truth…”

We be seized of all learned that as long as you do not “swallow” it is not unavoidably sex… That when you ask your husband, “Do I look fat?” its not the time to exist honest; Never, never tell someone their hair looks kind…as the next question is, “Doesn’t it perpetually look good???”

I shared these thoughts since part of the “drinking” behaviors have power to involve the need to avoid honesty at altogether costs; as it is too threatening…
What I have experienced over the continue year, is that although there are costs to being honest–the outcomes although painful at capital, open up new discussions and problem solving opportunities and makes for a stronger team!
Try it…

We are precisely days away from The Fashionable Mom Show and I couldn’t exist happier.

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