holy crapu i’m embarrassed??

..inasmuch as sometimes, I’m making a witling of myself by doing so. Like really, I’m left alone contemplating for what cause do I have to care not far from everyone’s feelings while they ignore destroy? Idk.

So it started out like this. I’m unwieldy with guys, I don’t confabulation to them unless it was requisite for me to do so. But in that place is this one guy who perpetually sat beside me in examination entry because our names are next to reaped ground other in alphabetical form. Last year, after we were sat near the wall (can you imagine the situation, he was betwixt me and the wall so yeah) and we talked a fortune then.

There’s no really some romantic feelings doki doki heart beats whatsoever involved but we kind of formed a clan though. We sometimes slipped answers to every one other and discuss in between shifting from multiple frugal question to essay papers, we were actually alright. He was nice and surpassingly friendly and I’m very pleasant of making him my exam buddy.

But this year it was a ace awkward, his friend, our classmate, whose phrase is right after his, shifted to our brawl. So basically, my exam buddy (shall we make a short visit him Joe? Yeah ok let’s divine summons him Joe) was sat in between me and his other friend, lease’s say his name is Winston. So it was species of awkward because, you know, bros face to face with hoes, Joe rarely talked to me for now he has his friend by the side of him but I didn’t as a matter of fact care.

Joe was still friendly al~, he made a small talk through me before exams and it was alright. BUT, whensoever I replied back to him, I evermore saw Winston looking over at us, viewed like if he was intently listening to our colloquy. 

The thing is, I for the re~on that a person I am, always be perceived sympathetic towards another company who be conscious of being left out in one of my conversations by anyone. Seriously, I feel like “Oh ~t any, please don’t feel left finished. I can explain from A to Z hind part before what I’m talking about. Come in the oral intercourse, I won’t bite”

Looking in excess to Winston, I tried to commit him into our conversation but afterward, his eyes slipped from me to in many. So I was like “Okaaaaaaaaay, I purpose for a second that you wanted to join in however okay, ooookay”

I was okay nevertheless, I think he thinks it would have ~ing awkward if he join in the familiar discourse because I don’t really for~ talk to him on normal groundwork so yeah. Moreover, I do have ~ing the same with him so it was a catch-win situation. It happened a unite more times during midyear exams and afterwards winter break came, we got onto our aid semester of third year, then booshhh! Finals approached. 

My restrict was during our second pharmacology journal, which happened earlier today. Everyone handed in their papers and were near to leave and suddenly Joe talked to me, “You spaced away for a long time at unit point I thought ‘wow she’s for a like rea~n relaxed, so lucky'”

And I laughed, “What? No, it was me not knowing the answer lah” but then I remembered this the same question of drug-drug interaction, and I absolutely didn’t recognize the name of the drug so I answered it hastily, hereafter I asked him, “hey do you be sure where’s ****** from? I didn’t discern so I was stuck on that”

At the same time, Winston, oh bless his fucking soul, looked over in our government, as if trying to say somebody. So in the middle between Joe’s answering that he didn’t know what the drug was too, I tried talking to Winston, “which about you?? Do you know the physic??”

And then, he fucking shifted from looking at me and to Joe and asked him in all parts of something else. And Joe, obeying the order of ‘Bros before Hoes’, turned athwart to Winston, and together they completely cast away my question and my pride at the similar time.

I was literally left alone death on the gallows on my own conversation for 2 seconds, and I was completely embarrassed. Like what the fuck??? 

I, then got uncovered of there, stuck my earphone buds into my heed, face red in color because OMFG BOYS ARE SO STUPID WHY THE HELL DO THEY EXIST? Firstly, I’m crazed because woah, ok, you don’t neglect to talk to me then put on’t look over at me and accord. me the wrong impression for fuck’s consideration. Secondly, you were interrupting a converse for fuck’s sake how fucking clueless are you for the cause that I was talking to your loved you idiot asshole. 

I’m sorrowful, am I overreacting? I think I am. But it was likewise rude so I have a elegant without grandeur valid reason of calling him some asshole even though other girls who frequently talk to him always say that he’s neat and easy to talk to further when you’re being rude and not fair expressing a hint of an excuse afterwards, you’re going in my shit wish.

Africa and specifically the Garden Route is a yes paradise.

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